INFINITY PEACE

Embroidered Jawn with the World Peace Advocacy. Imagine this: You just got done ripping three-wheelers in your buddies' backyard. The Ghost of Dick Cheney pops up out of nowhere:

"In those first hours we were living in the fog of war."

He proceeds to recite his entire memoir to you with incredible enthusiasm.

You rush home, you have just the thing for such a situation, you arrive and throw on this hat.

"We have guaranteed freedom, secu... Wait, no! What are you doing? AGGHHHHH" 

A blinding light fills the room. Cheney fades away, Blissful silence ensues. Oh, yeah, also you're 2" taller now. You're welcome. 

Antiwar.com